Review: The Four Agreements

If you have read any of Carlos Castaneda's books and wondered what the heck he was on about, then maybe Don Miguel Ruiz's "The Four Agreements" is for you. Subtitled "A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom" it covers some of Castaneda's ground, but in plain English. While Castaneda's books are fascinating, he rambles a lot because he was learning at the time he wrote them. Ruiz instead gets right to the point and he clearly understands what he is talking about. In a nutshell, the book is about how to free your mind of negative, self-limiting thoughts and habits, using the ostensibly straightforward method of making four simple agreements with yourself. He says that what he is teaching is Toltec wisdom, that is, native American shamanism (Ruiz claims to be a nagual), but wherever it comes from, it makes a lot of sense to me. Indeed, I was gratified on reading it to discover that I already apply much of what he teaches: maybe I understood more of Castaneda's books than I realized! Of course, I'm not rich yet, but I am much happier than I used to be, most of the time.

The four agreements, in summary, are these:

1. Be impeccable with your word: i.e., be honest with yourself and others and do not talk yourself or other people down;
2. Don't take anything personally: when people 'insult' you or behave selfishly or foist their opinions on you, remember that it is not to do with you, it is to do with them: they have their own issues and viewpoints, which are not your problem. You do not need to worry about what they say or think;
3. Don't make assumptions: before jumping to conclusions about what people mean by what they do or say, ask them. Go to great lengths to avoid any misunderstanding.
   
4. Always do your best: you can avoid much self-criticism when you can reply to yourself, "I did my best," as long as you remember that your best will vary from time-to-time and you are prepared to forgive yourself for your weaknesses.

He also explains some of Casteneda's other terminology, such as the dream of the second attention. But whether you have read Castaneda or not, read this book. It is one of those books that everybody should read and I am quite sure that it can change lives - for the better.

EBay Scams

I have been experimenting with trying to sell one of my flats on EBay, and my car. Does it work? Er... not so far, anyway. What it does do, though, is attract deadbeats and fraudsters. You have to have your wits about you to avoid getting scammed!

For example, I advertised my car, and someone sent me an e-mail from within the EBay system asking me what my reserve price was. Well, being new to this, I couldn't really see anything wrong with telling him, so I did. He immediately bid that price... and the auction seemed to turn into a dead duck right there. My reserve was too high anyway, but nobody else bid after that. Well, he "won" the auction but, naturally enough, disappeared. Perhaps he thought I would be stuck paying EBay's fees, but I complained to them about him and got a free auction instead. Still, now when people ask, I don't tell them.

I have put the car back in. This time, the scams are different, and more sinister. I have been e-mailed by several different people all saying much the same. Here is an example:

Hello ,on behalf of my client i'll like to buy your (1994 FORD ESCORT)for £695.I'll also wish to tell you that i already have shipping agent that will come for the goods.If you're ready for that,then get in touch with me immediately.

Some ask about the condition of the car. Well, the ad describes its condition, so I guess that they are not reading the ad - possibly some robot or minion is scanning the ads for basic details and leaving the rest. Anyway, it is a clue that something is wrong.

Some offer a price for it - a previously advertised price of £695. Hmm...

Well, I followed up one, "milly". Her opening gambit was like this:

Hello,
I'm milly .I am interested in your[1994 FORD ESCORT 1.8TD LX 5dr Estate]and I'll like to know
your last offering price and to see the pics or to know the condition if it will be okay with me.I'll be
making my payment with a certified cashier's cheque .If you do I want you to get in touch with me
immediately for me to proceed with the Payment. As for the shipping I'll contact a shipper agent of
mine who will arranged for the Pick up as soon as the transaction is sealed and get back .I'll be
looking forward to your response.
Thanks and Have a Nice day.
Regards
milly.

Note in both e-mails the dodgy quoting of the car's details straight from the ad: [1994 FORD ESCORT 1.8TD LX 5dr Estate] in the latter one. Obviously pulled out by a robot, which probably also sent the e-mail to me. Anyway, "milly" had a Canadian Yahoo! e-mail address (although the mail headers, on analysis with Sam Spade, suggest the person is in Belgium), said (in garbled English) that her shipper owed her £4400 and would I accept a cheque for that amount and send her the difference? Er... right. On looking up that scam on the Internet, I discovered that what happens is they send you a false or altered cheque (i.e., a genuine one that has been stolen and altered, usually) that will usually pay in to your account successfully, but which on final checking, the bank will eventually discover is false and will reclaim the money - after you have sent £4400-£695 to the fraudster. Incidentally, she also asked for name and address details for me... a possible prelude to identity theft. I didn't tell her.

I had a phone call from one of these scammers today. Well, I assume it was a scammer - he asked about the condition of the car... I told him it was described in the ad (but it was a bit dented and drives well - he could be genuine after all)... and wanted to know the price. I didn't tell him. I said it was in the auction and he could bid for it there. He noted that it had an MOT (must have read the ad, then) and asked if it was taxed. Nope, it isn't. He could be genuine... difficult to tell with this one. If he comes to view it, I suppose I shall have to watch out for fake cheques or something. Or if he wants to test drive it, maybe he will try and separate me from the car for a minute so he can steal it (mind you, it isn't taxed... so no test drive then). Were I to allow a test drive, I would probably need a friend to sit in the car no matter what during the test drive so there are three people, not just me and him. Dunno. Dunno if I should give him my address so he can view it. I should make sure the official documents are not left in the car at this time, anyway - no point letting him steal those too. But I don't think he will call back, somehow. Mind you, he left is mobile number on my phone. Genuine? Hmm...

Whoa... hold the bus! I've just remembered that I am also advertising it in Auto Trader, where the condition isn't described (due to lack of space) and where the price is £695... Argh! Now what? Are they scammers, or not? Well, if they mention "shipping agent" I would reckon they are. The phone guy is probably genuine, though. Still, it doesn't hurt to take precautions. Just got to avoid the false positives - a bit like trying to filter spam! :-)

Why don't I just take cheques from all of these people and see if any really do clear? I could do that. On paying them in you specify that they are "for collection", apparently, which tells the bank not to pay you until it has been fully verified (I think).